It goes without saying that in almost all cases, goals we set ourselves are solutions to negative situations. It may be your health, personal or professional lifestyle changes, money matters or personal development. Anything causing you a problem does require a change and when and how that happens is largely down to you in most cases.
Is your career not advancing as you had hoped? Or maybe you need to increase your income to combat debt or better your lifestyle? Or perhaps you need to go back to college or university to achieve a combination of these issues? More profoundly, you may need to lose weight to benefit your health, in general or to aid a medical condition, drink less or stop smoking.
Whatever the reason, when a situation starts to reach a breaking-point we worry on a much deeper level than a day-to-day moan. It is a level that causes varying degrees of stress and anxiety - some quite panic stricken - where as you process it, you become overwhelmingly driven to 'make a change for the better' and do something positive about it. Therein, more often, a 'goal' is set with a whole melee of fantastical solutions. However, this is where the self-protecting human condition contradicts itself - quite often, in the next moment, the routine of day-to-day life carries on where the stress of that breaking point is suppressed and we convince ourselves it will all be okay and actually, end up ignoring the problem...until that is, it all flares up again!
So what do we do to stop this vicious circle? Well, if everything I have said so far strikes a resounding chord then the rest of this post will probably be useful to you, or at the very least give you a positive approach to setting personal goals and sticking with them. Having goals for what we want and need to do to make positive changes in our lives is an important part of being human. Acheiving them may not always be easy and may also have hurdles, but to have goals, big or small, is in part what makes life good. It gives us purpose, direction and development and engages us for the benefit of our overall happiness.
I have wanted to write this post for some time and it has been a work in progress. Searching my own experiences and taking knowledge from professionals close to me, I believe that realising your need to set a goal and formulating a plan to make it happen, is realistically achievable. Do I practise what I preach though? No, not always, but this formula has helped me achieved many goals and for sure will continue to do so.
Getting Started
Aristotle said, "Well begun is half done" and he was right about a great many things - and how you formulate your goals will have a massive impact on you achieving them. Now, where I mentioned the 'breaking-point' or 'crisis moment' above, in that head-space you are quite likely to form an overtly radical action-plan to make yourself feel better quickly - that short road called, 'instant gratification'.
Start small and set a goal within your capability. Write it down and read it frequently. Identify the problem/situation that needs changing and ask yourself: what will be the outcome of your goal once achieved; how will I feel when I have achieved it; how will achieving your goals reflect on your values; what is the time-scale of my goal; and what is it that you ultimately want from your goal?
Be Realistic
In the same way you would not apply for a job you were significantly under-qualified for, your goal needs to be something you can do or your goal is almost certain to fail.
Build up to your overall goal with a three-step program. Step 1: something easily achieved. Step 2: stretch it, take your success from Step 1 to get closer to your overall goal. And Step 3: really go for it: still remembering your realistic capabilities. For example, if your goal is to get fit/lose weight, then to say you would go to the gym every day when you work five days a week as a nurse on 12 hour shifts......? You get my point, even if slightly exaggerated.
Getting started is the most important thing. "A thousand steps starts with one" and today is always the best day to start. Do not procrastinate, do not look for excuses where if, "oh I cannot today because..." then - excusing sudden, extreme circumstances - you did not write Step 1 properly nor within your capabilities.
Motivation
Motivation is quite often the hardest part in achieving your goal but sometimes a bit of mental trickery helps. If you are wanting to lose weight, then rather than saying, "I do not want to be overweight anymore," say instead, "I want to fit into my favourite dress again." Hang it in your bedroom so that it is the first and last thing you see every day. That kind of stuff really works as a positive reinforcement.
A goal where you can see the target is incredibly motivating, much more than a goal you cannot truly envisage (I refer to these as dreams as opposed to goals). However, that largely depends on your personal psychology in terms of perspective. Some people's minds are 'visual' whereby anything written down as a formula will need a realistic image. Example: "my goal is to run five miles a day" as opposed to "my goal is to run around the park 15 times each day". Depending on the size of the park, the distance may be the same but there is a huge difference in how it is perceived and therefore how motivated your self-belief will be towards achieving it.
Going back to the '3 Steps', smaller, progressive steps can be the most achievable route to a larger, overall goal. The 'running around the park 15 times a day' may be the first step towards running a half marathon. Big goals are often ambiguous and will make demands that you are initially unable to complete whilst trying to complete your motivation. Smaller goals, as stepping stones to a larger goal, make the whole process a lot easier. They will keep you with a sense of winning and not struggling which in turn will constantly fuel your motivation.
All this seems very logical and easily said but we all know how difficult these things can be. Sometimes, as realistic as the steps towards achieving your goal appear to be, the practical realities bring unforeseen elements that you did not consider. If this happens, keep going but change that part of the step. If, in running around the park, the park is inconvenient in its location, or you are always being chased by dogs, or you find circling the park boring, choose a different route or location. The step towards your goal will remain the same but the environment will suit you better. Either way you will still be moving forward towards your goal and will have conquered a dip in your motivation.
Whenever you complete a step, reward yourself. Enjoy achieving a step toward your goal and share it with your friends and family. Reflect on it, realise what you have achieved and learn from the bits you liked and disliked. This will help you on the next step and closer to your overall goal. It will also help towards future goals you undertake.
Even after all this, your first step could still prove too much. If all fails and you feel like giving up, look at everything you wrote down in your steps and change your action plan. It does not matter how many small steps you take in your journey towards your overall goal. I am proposing '3 Steps' but it can be 4/5/6 Steps. What matters is that you keep on going.
Tell Your Friends
This can be one of the most important parts in achieving your goal, and arguably the most important. Left to your own devices, trying to achieve a goal in secret, is not going to help you and would be a major factor if you failed in your goal. Tell your friends, family and colleagues for their encouragement and their personal interest in your day-to-day progress. You may well find them joining in your goal. And of course, when you complete each step towards your goal you can reward your success with them and celebrate it.
It is never a bad thing to keep improving yourself and to keep a goal running all the time, achieving one and identifying another. Achieving goals is very satisfying and quite euphoric. And then, when you have one of those deep moments where you ask yourself, "what did I do this year?" maybe the most self-satisfying thing will not be, 'I had a great holiday' but instead, that you can fit into your favourite dress, that you did run a half marathon or generally that you have a happier and healthier lifestyle.
